Top Ten Reasons Why Lost is the Best Show Ever!!!

In hopes of keeping myself from reading the spoilers for the season finale tonight...

1. It is all about the mystery...I love a show that I can't figure out in the first 10 minutes.

2. Great character development...not just superficial details.

3. It is like a big, crazy puzzle. I am not sure even Sherlock could figure it out!

4. Matthew Fox is adorable! I'd like to play doctor with him!

5. A mix of action and scifi fun.

6. I love the flashback and flashforward storytelling.

7. Great evil characters that you love to hate!!!

8. Also hunky Josh Holloway! Yummy!

9. Crazy things happen that keep my brain buzzing for days.

10. There are tons of crazy clues embedded in the show and I am so proud of myself when I figure them out.

Hopefully the finale will rock tonight...2 hours of Lost bliss!!! Have a great day!!!

Top Ten Reasons to be a Pirate

1. You get to drink rum at anytime of day! Not that you would but...you could.

2. Fresh sea air and sandy beaches! Sounds a lot like Sandals so far.

3. You get to see whales and dolphins all the time. Insert the National Geographic theme here.

4. The wardrobe...seriously...either a frilly or grungy pirate, what is not to love about the clothes. Do-rags, black pants, and cool boots... that translates to no bad hair days, slimming pants and fashionable footwear!

5. You could wear an eye patch and no one would stare. How cool is that!

6. You could learn to sword fight.

7. You get to hang out with your homies all the time and no one gets to tell you what to do.

8. You get to say cool stuff like: 'arrrggh', 'ahoy', 'avast', 'maties' and 'shiver me timbers'.

9. All the fresh fish and lemons you could want.

10. Think of all the 'treasure' and 'booty' you could plunder...if you are that kind of person. (Tee Hee...I said 'booty'.)

Today it seems like being a pirate is a lot more fun than hanging around the house, doing dishes and picking up after the little ones.

Top Ten Things To Do When You Are Feeling Grumpy

Ever have one of those days?... Weekends?... Years?

Here are some grumpiness solutions!

1. Take a long hot shower...always makes me feel better.

2. Eat some chocolate.

3. Go shopping! ... love that retail therapy!

4. Read a trashy novel...their lives are always more complicated than regular ones.

5. Have a cocktail, or two! ... or three ... or four!

6. Snuggle up with your sweetie...as long as he/she is not the one bugging you!!

7. Take a long nap. and enjoy a nice daydream!

8. Watch a happy ending movie, maybe it will rub off.

9. Call your best friend and have a little bitch session.

10. Dress up and go to your favorite eatery ...take your time and let someone else do the dishes!

Here is to hoping you are having a less grumpy day!!

The Top Ten Things I Say Everyday!

Like a broken record...

1. No... no..., no, no, no!!!

2. Did you hear me?

3. What is the problem in here?

4. Stop...stop... stop!

5. Did you brush your teeth?

6. Did you go to the bathroom?

7. Where are your pants?

8. What do you want for dinner?

9. Because I said so!! (Thanks for that one Mom!)

10. I love you, ... but you are making me crazy!!!

Happy Memorial Day to all!!!

The Top Ten Reasons I Like to Wear Black

For all those that know me in real life...I am almost always wearing black...maybe with the occasional pink shirt thrown in. So, in case you were curious...

1. I am grateful for the slimming effect.

2. I was a ninja in a former lifetime...the source of my other love ... all things Asian.

3. You can spill and drip on it and no one will know...especially Taco Bell.

4. It always makes you look more dressed up than you are.

5. It goes with anything and everything.

6. No tan is required.

7. It doesn't matter what color your bra is.

8. I was Zorro in a former life...yes clearly, I have had many former lives.

9. Fewer loads of laundry.

10. Did I mention the slimming effect?

Have a great day!!! M.

Top Ten Heroes I'd Like to be Rescued By

In honor of the movie opening today...the top ten heroes I would love to rescue me...

1. Indiana Jones...could he be cuter?

2. Zorro...how can you not love a sexy Latin guy dressed all in black.

3. Aquaman...a totally underrated super hero if you as me...I mean he talks to dolphins, come on!

4. Han Solo...really need a say anything more then totally cool space pirate.

5. Luke Skywalker...hopefully while he still has both of his good hands.

6. Neo...I am noticing an all dressed in black hero thing happen' here.

7. Batman...only the new Christian Bale version, all others need not apply...Adam West, yikes!

8. Sportacus...for you not watching toddler tv people, underneath the goofy Lazytown costume is a super hunky Icelandic studmuffin with a dreamy accent.

9. Tarzan...generally speaking I prefer brain over brawn but everyone needs a little mindless beefcake in their life, right?

10. James Bond...perhaps the sexiest of all heroes, certainly the most suave and I would be willing to be rescued by either the Pierce version or the Sean version, I won't discriminate.

Have a great day and feel free to leave any heroes I may have over looked!

Top Ten Chocolate Therapy Foods...for the day from hell!!

Ever have one of those days when you just need some chocolate to make it through without killing someone? Try any of the below and take a deep breath...

1. Classic Hershey's Chocolate Bar...broken in twelve yummy rectangles.

2. Warm chocolate Chip Cookies fresh from the oven...if you are a baking kind of gal.

3. Hot Fudge Sundae...also a classic.

4. Chocolate Chip Pancakes...then you can get a double hit...bready stuff and sugar!

5. Chocolate Milkshake...with the whipped cream and cherry ...that's up to you!

6. Hot Cocoa with Marshmallows...very therapeutic on a cold, crappy day.

7. Chocolate Pudding...don't underestimate it's ability to take you back to a simpler time.

8. Chocolate Cake...now I am not a cake person but I know for some it is the best.

9. Snickers...sometimes just the Hershey's doesn't cut it and you need some chewy goodness to workout those frustrations...I highly recommend it.

10. Chocolate Martini...for when you need to forgive and forget!!!

Everyone has those days...I am recommending chocolate therapy over analysis or perhaps jail time. Take it easy everyone.

Top Ten Reasons to be a Romance Novelist

1. You get to work in your pj's, the racier the better, I suppose.

2. You get to use verbs like "quivering", and "throbbing", and really when do you ever get to use those words in regular conversation.

3. In romance novel fantasy land all the men are gorgeous, rich, and great in the sack...yeah, that sound like my life, ...not.

4. And along those same lines, the women are all busty but unearthly skinny, smart and never get pimples.

5. Romance novel women also never have to pee or get their periods. hmmm...

6. Not only do you get to use great verbs, but think of all the great descriptive words you get to use like...scorching, moist, sizzling, ...need I go on? Ever notice how these words sound more like kitchen words?

7. Romance novelists must certainly know how to talk naughtily to their sweeties without sounding like a complete dork. Seems like an asset, right?

8. When Fabio or some other muscular hottie comes to pose for the cover, he is certainly going to be hanging around for a long time, since the cover art is for some reason not a photo but some kind of illustration.

9. If you were a romance novelist you would know every slang term for sex ever invented...I believe there are 113 to date. Cue the fireworks...

10. Certainly if you are a romance writer you must have a great imagination, which is definitely a necessity in anyones romance department, ...can I get an Amen?

Kiss your sweetie and have a great day!!

Top Ten Reasons Tivos are Better Than Husbands

Before I start my list, if you don't know what a Tivo is...first let me say, it is time to get out from under the rock...and second, don't tell me you have a DVR from your cable people and that it is just fine with you. Trust me when I tell you that there is just no comparison. Any way...moving on...

1. My tivo is better than my husband because it never leaves wet towels on the bed and underwear on the floor in the bathroom.

2. My tivo is always there for me with a cheerful smile and a happy ding! No grumpiness or door slamming!

3. My tivo is always thinking of me and whats to know what I like...my favorite shows, movies and whatnot. It will find unexpected things just for me, just to make me happy. It does not suggest that I should have to watch Sportscenter or civil war shows on the History channel.

4. My tivo never says..."in a few minutes...I'll get to it later...or No!" He is always ready to serve.

5. My tivo is happy to babysit at anytime! It knows all the kids favorite shows and movies and it ready to party! It never falls asleep while watching the kids!

6. My tivo will happily find shows with all my favorite 'cuties' in them..and it does not tell me that they probably like boys anyway.

7. My tivo never criticizes me, never makes fun of my clothes or shoes, housekeeping skills, cooking, or driving.

8. My tivo will be happy to watch the same movie over and over again and never ever complains and it would never tell anyone that I have watched The Mark of Zorro about 73 times.

9. My tivo never farts, burps, leaves the toilet seat up, makes lame jokes at parties, or embarrasses me in front of my family.

10. My tivo never, ever puts his hands inside his waistband while he is watching tv.

Top Ten Geeks I Love

Now, keep in mind while you read this list that I get that most girls love the "bad boy"...

well, I have a soft spot in my heart for the geeks and nerds of the world.

Someone has to, Right?

1. Justin Long...and seriously no Mac products here anywhere.

2. Lowell from 'Wings'.

3. Kevin Costner...the cute one from Bull Durham...I'll pass on the others.

4. Patrick Stewart...perhaps my parents love for Star Trek when I was a kid has some influence here.

5. Steve Burns...yes, moms out there... that is Steve from Blue's Clues...I know, I need therapy.

6. Tom Brokaw... at like 42.

7. Sean Hannity...please democrats, keep breathing and don't judge.

8. Tyler Florence..yeah, the Food Network...just because I can't cook doesn't mean I can't watch and enjoy. Yum!!!

9. Jeremy Northam...if you are not familiar, he's British...he was just beheaded on the Tudors and gets to do the period film thing with Gwenneth Paltrow in Emma.

10. Anderson Cooper...from The Mole and CNN.

Looking back at my list...I think I must watch the news too much...

Feel free to leave your list... all geeks are welcome!

Top Ten Reasons I am not winning Mother of the Year...

1. I yell at my kids...not that it ever works, mind you. My powers of intimidation are clearly quite limited. While my mother could control my every thought and behavior from across a crowded room with just the tiniest lift of a Mr. Spock-like eyebrow. I could fall to the floor in screaming convulsions and my kids would most likely just ask for something to drink or ask me when dinner is.

2. I don't play with them enough...whether it is endless hours of Lego fun or the pretending to buy items in whichever "Store" is being run by one of my blonde-headed offspring/shopkeepers, my eyes tend to glaze over rather quickly and I mostly daydream about taking a nap. And forget about monopoly...

3. I spoil them...I spend hours researching the things they are into, finding that one, last, elusive thingy that will complete their collection of whatever it is and I fall for the buying of sparkly girlie shoes just about every time I walk into Target.

4. I occasionally let them eat junk food...God love all of you "my kids have never eaten fast food, I only buy organic" moms out there...really if you can get you kids to snack on only high fiber bran muffins, organic celery sticks and tasty cubes of soymilk-marinated tofu cubes than more power to you, girl. My kids have been know to eat Poptarts, Lucky Charms cereal, Mcdonald's french fries, Kraft Mac and Cheese, Oreo's and a cornucopia of nonorganic sugar infested food product. I do draw the line at ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I do know that fruit snacks contain no actual fruit.

5. I don't get enough sleep and am grumpy alot!...It is hard to float around the house humming Mary Poppins tunes and winking at the cartoon bluebirds on 4 hours sleep for the 458th night in a row.

6. I let them watch too much TV...Thanks to the magical wonders of TIVO, I succumb far too often to the tantalizing lure of the electronic babysitter. Shame on me. I recall when my oldest was born that I told someone that my kids would only watch 1/2 hour of tv a day, 'cause TV rots your brain right...perhaps that was also insomnia induced lunacy.

7. I don't read to them enough...Another figment of my premotherhood fantasy land, is where I would read to my enraptured children every evening, from a large leather bound book using 17 different voices and lilting, lyrical phrasing. Seriously now folks, after 1473 times how excited can you get about..."not in a box, not with a fox"...

8. I frequently criticize them...Most of my criticisms begin with..."What were you thinking when you..." emptied and entire bottle of baby powder all over the house, ate an entire bag of marshmallows or ran naked here, there and everywhere. I guess I just have unrealistic expectations.

9. Martha Stewart I am not...I hate to iron, I can barely cook, and I have a free-ranging colony of dust bunnies living under various pieces of my furniture.

10. I force my kids to wear ridiculous things and take their pictures...think chicken, tossed salad, lobster and goldfish cracker. What can I say? Although it looks more like a grocery list than a list of Halloween costumes!

• I love them a ton though and really isn't that what really matters?...that and the Poptarts, right?