Before I start my list, if you don't know what a Tivo is...first let me say, it is time to get out from under the rock...and second, don't tell me you have a DVR from your cable people and that it is just fine with you. Trust me when I tell you that there is just no comparison. Any way...moving on...
1. My tivo is better than my husband because it never leaves wet towels on the bed and underwear on the floor in the bathroom.
2. My tivo is always there for me with a cheerful smile and a happy ding! No grumpiness or door slamming!
3. My tivo is always thinking of me and whats to know what I like...my favorite shows, movies and whatnot. It will find unexpected things just for me, just to make me happy. It does not suggest that I should have to watch Sportscenter or civil war shows on the History channel.
4. My tivo never says..."in a few minutes...I'll get to it later...or No!" He is always ready to serve.
5. My tivo is happy to babysit at anytime! It knows all the kids favorite shows and movies and it ready to party! It never falls asleep while watching the kids!
6. My tivo will happily find shows with all my favorite 'cuties' in them..and it does not tell me that they probably like boys anyway.
7. My tivo never criticizes me, never makes fun of my clothes or shoes, housekeeping skills, cooking, or driving.
8. My tivo will be happy to watch the same movie over and over again and never ever complains and it would never tell anyone that I have watched The Mark of Zorro about 73 times.
9. My tivo never farts, burps, leaves the toilet seat up, makes lame jokes at parties, or embarrasses me in front of my family.
10. My tivo never, ever puts his hands inside his waistband while he is watching tv.
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